i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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