Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
