Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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