she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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