I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
