Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
