I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
