For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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