I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
