Welp...herpes.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
