i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
