Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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