i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
the liver wants what the liver wants
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
