and you said cock pushups were impossible
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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