You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
