I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
