Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
