remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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