U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
