some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm bleeding and have questions
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
