Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
