I didn't shave. On purpose
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
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