Screwed.edu
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
