He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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