Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
