How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
