The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
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