do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
