So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
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