if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
