that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
