a queef is a wish your heart makes.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
