Having a random hookup so left but love u
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Randomize
