Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You are the jesus of drinking
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
