i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
