you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
