o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize