a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
