You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
