You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
