HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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