all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
