I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
