what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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