Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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