Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
