I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
