i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
