They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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