so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
