I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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