So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I have feelings that need drinking.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
