i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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