just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
