yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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