K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
