This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
