Define "chronic" masturbator.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize