He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
