Your face is a jimmy john
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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