She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
