When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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