You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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