you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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