i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
My Higher Power is John Stamos
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
