I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
