3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
