she looked like the bat from fern gully.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
