Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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