Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
