Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
