we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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